The U.S. of Ass

When did "ass" become acceptable in polite society? Oh, right. Society is no longer polite. I was admonished by my mother when I used the word as a boy. Even the "but it's in the Bible" defense did not spare me from Mom's withering and guilt-inducing "you've disappointed me" glare.
I took these picture at a trade show, in Urban Outfitters and on the sidewalk in Chicago.

Reading list: The Moviegoer

John "Binx" Bolling is a week away from his 30th birthday. He's a stockbroker in a suburb of New Orleans. He lives there in a sort of self-imposed exile. His great-aunt and her family live in the city, but he prefers being in the sticks. He also prefers taking public transportation to driving. One is less cut off from the world when sitting in a bus or trolley, says the man who cuts himself off from the world by living in the 'burbs.
Binx is a bit of a contradiction. He doesn't like provincial people, yet he doesn't want to explore the outside world. He is happy in Louisiana. Binx dreads a business trip to Chicago; the big city gives him the creeps. In fairness, the last time he was away from home--in Korea during the war--the Chinese army shot him. He's against conforming to the roles family and society expect us to play, but ultimately he does succumb and accepts what his great-aunt wants him to do.
The Moviegoer was published in 1961 and won the 1962 National Book Award for fiction. Binx, who narrates the story, is a literary contemporary of Harry Angstrom, Updike's Rabbit. They both chaff at society's rules, but Binx is more responsible than Rabbit. They both chase skirts, but at least Binx is single. Neither knows what he wants to do with his life. But Binx is less selfish than Rabbit. He cares for his manic-depressive step-cousin Kate and tends to his sickly half-brother.
"You will be thirty years old. Don't you think a thirty year old man ought to know what he wants to do with his life?" asks Aunt Emily. He answers "yes" but he really doesn't know.
Binx likes the movies and identifies his actions with those of actors he sees in the theater. Speaking about his new secretary, Binx writes: "Toward her I keep a Gregory Peckish sort of distance. I am a tall black-headed fellow and I know as well as he how to keep to myself, make my eyes fine and my cheeks spare, tuck my lip and say a word or two with a nod or two."
Another instance: "I am no do-gooding Jose Ferrer going around with a little whistle to make people happy." Rory Calhoun figures in the story several times, and William Holden actually makes an appearance early on.
Percy is good at describing people ("Mrs. Schexnaydre is a vigorous pony-size blond." and ""His hair makes two waves over his forehead in the Nelson Eddy style of a generation ago."), setting scenes and observing foibles ("Dinner over, Uncle Oscar waits in the dining room until the others have left, then seizes his scrotum and gives his leg a good shake.").




In reply to a question, Binx's secretary says, "Larroes catch medloes." I had no idea what that meant. A Google search says it's a regional corruption of the phrase, "Layovers to catch meddlers" which also makes no sense. But the explanation is that it's used to avoid answering directly. Maybe readers of this blog can revive that expression.
How's this for a 50-year-old observation that is still fresh today. From Aunt Emily: "Our national character stinks to high heaven. But we are kinder than ever. . . . Nor is there anything new about thievery, lewdness, lying, adultery. What is new is that in our time liars and thieves and whores and adulterers wish also to be congratulated and are congratulated by the great public, if their confession is sufficiently psychological or strikes a sufficiently heartfelt and authentic note of sincerity."
Anyone for John Edwards, James Frey, Lindsay Lohan, Bernie Madoff, Mark Sanford, Oprah?

The right book for this time

Apropos of the Golden Globes, I've been reading a book about the movies and set during carnival week in New Orleans, which is coming up soon. It's Walker Percy's The Moviegoer, narrated by Binx Bolling, a Korean War vet who likes to go to the movies. The novel was published in 1960 and is a National Book Award winner. These winners haven't failed me yet.

Binx relates his life to what he sees in the movies.

"Ned is a former jockey and he looks quite bit like Leo Carroll but older and more dried up."

"It is possible to stand at the window, loosen my collar and rub the back of my neck like Dana Andrews."

"I was shot through the shoulder--a decent wound, as decent as any ever inflicted on Rory Calhoun or Ton Curtis."

At another point he refers to himself as Gregory Peck-ish. (I can't find the exact quotation.)

I'm enjoying this book and will give a full report when I've finished it.

I did want to post something here, because I've been derelict at keeping this blog updated.

Later, gator

More Rip Van Winkle moments

When did the Golden Globe awards become respectable? I don't know, but it must have been at some point between 1981 and when I woke up in the 21st century. The Golden Globes were on TV last night, in the papers this morning, and all over the blogosphere (gawd, I hate that word, and an ashamed to use it). The Globes have become bellwethers for the Oscars. Critics say if an actor wins a Golden Globe, then it is likely he'll win an Oscar.

Whenever I think of the GGs (which is rarely), I think of Pia Zadora. Pia won the 1981 Golden Globe for New Star of the Year, starring in the movie Butterfly. She became a pop culture joke. I have no negative (or positive) opinion of Pia. It's not her fault she won the award, which was attributed to her husband's promotional campaign. Spending money on

ads and billboards! I am shocked! Shocked, I tell you.

I'm going back to sleep now in order to avoid more pop culture madness. Wake me up when Lady GaGa wins the Pulitzer Prize for fiction.

People magazine's "Where Are They Now?" profile

Rip van Who-now?

A clue in a recent New York Times crossword puzzle referred to Hec Ramsey, which was a television program back in the 1970s starring Richard Boone. TV in the 1970s was great. For one, it was the Golden Age of Suzanne Pleshette. Doesn't her name sound like a smaller, more compact version of Suzanne Plesh?
Anyway, I don't remember if I liked Hec Ramsey or not, but I'm sure I watched it. There weren't the viewing choices then like there are today. I haven't thought about Hec for 38 years. It's like I woke up after a long, long nap, only nothing much as changed. Or had it?
Consider these "Rip Van Winkle" moments, mostly centered around pop culture. I've been hearing about this woman Fergie, only I thought the reference was to Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York (later the Duchess of Pork. I know--that's a mean joke from the 1990s. It's not like I haven't put a stone or two myself. "Let he who is without weight gain shed the first stone.") Sarah Feguson was called Fergie. But this latter-day Fergie is Stacy Ann Ferguson of the Black Eyed Peas. Her nickname, incidentally, is The Dutchess (her spelling.)
Another singer who caused me confusion is Beck. All along I thought people were referring to Jeff Beck ("Constipated Duck" and other songs), an accomplished musician from the 1970s. When I checked out the contemporary, mono-named Beck, I found I liked his music, too. I bought an album or two of his.
Finally, I was confused by John Mayer, thinking speakers were referring to John Mayall. I didn't think the old '60s rocker was hanging with the likes of Jennifer Aniston, but you never know. (See Harrison Ford/Calista Flockhart.)
Pop culture confusion is one consequence of getting old. The new names begin to sound like the old names. Incidentally, "what-now" is a favorite construction and one frequently employed by Jasper on "The Simpsons." On one episode, he says to Chief Wiggum (I think), "You shot who in the what now?"

Top Moments Of 2009

Had I acted on my instincts in 2008, I would have launched a giftware line in 2009 featuring an adorable mutt and called it Y2-K9 (pronounced Y2-Canine), aka 2009. But I didn't and I didn't get rich off this novelty idea. But I do have a year rich in enjoyable memories. I have been cataloging the top moments of each quarter. See them all at:
January to March
April to June
July to September
October to December

Here now, thoroughly distilled, are the top 10 moments of 2009 (in random order):

The Barack Obama inauguration. I witnessed (on TV) an historic swearing-in of a United States president. Doubly sweet was that I actually had voted for a winning candidate for a change.

Trip to Ecuador. To celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary, we traveled to the Galapagos Islands and the mainland. The cruise took us up close to blue-footed boobies (click the photo for a larger view), frigate birds, tropical fish and sea lions. We learned about the geology and the botany of the islands, as well as the zoology. The Andean highlands at the end of our trip were amazing. I'd definitely return there to hike. Another highlight: straddling the equator.

Celebrating our 25th anniversary. Besides the trip, actually hitting the 25-year milestone was a big deal, and rates its own separate entry into this log.

Watching a nephew graduate. My older brother's son graduated with honors from Boston University with a degree in psychology. He landed a top job in a top research facility in Boston (maybe Cambridge). Larry Bird and Steven Speilberg received honorary degrees that day, but in my mind, the biggest ovation was for my nephew when he walked across the stage to receive his sheepskin.

Volunteering at the Chicago Botanic Garden. I spent two days a month in the fruit and vegetable garden (or fruit and veg, as we call it). I gave away zucchini and tomato plants, worked on the tool-sharpening cart, manned the compost station, talked about edible flowers and answered questions about the bee hive.

Labor Day dinner. We were in Minnesota over Labor Day weekend, visiting my wife's brother and his wife. On Labor Day, we ate dinner on Lake Minnetonka at a favorite resto of my in-laws. We ate outside on the deck with a direct view of the lake. The evening was mild, the company warm and the food delicious. It was one of those magical evenings with family that you wish would never end. I could have sat there 'til closing.

Meeting my wife's cousin from Poland. My wife and her cousin never met. In fact, my wife didn't even know about this existence of this cousin, the daughter of her father's brother. When Danuta and her husband came to the United States to visit, my wife and I, and my wife's brother and his wife, all met for breakfast at the Hilton. It was very emotional for the blood relations; and I was verklempt, too.

College reunion. I celebrated my 30th reunion in October. I've been back to campus many times in those years, and watched the homecoming parade, but I never participated in any formal reunions. I had a ball.

Home improvements. In the kitchen, we put in new cabinets, countertops, a gas stove, track lights and a maple floor. (We still have to tile and paint, but the difference so far is dramatic. The room is much more efficient and convenient to work in.) We also painted the dining room and the hallway, and installed new windows. We are feeling the difference--no more drafts at the back of our heads as we read or watch TV.

Reading. Among the books I've enjoyed are: The English Patient, True North, Maus, Dracula and No Country For Old Men. For my reviews of these books, search the blog or click on Reading in the "What I Write About" cloud at right.

Music. We saw Brad Paisley and Dierks Bentley, and Trace Atkins and Toby Keith in two separate concerts. Brad's was the best. He's a great entertainer, is extremely funny and a super musician.

If you were counting, then you know that's 11 moments. Thanks for reading. All the best to YOU in 2010.

More top moments of 2009

You know how newspapers have their top stories of the year? I've been issuing my top moments of every quarter this year. Here are the highlights of the last three months, October to December. Next week I'll submit my top 10 list of the entire year. Here goes:
Meeting my wife's cousin from Poland. My wife and her cousin never met. In fact, my wife didn't even know about this existence of this cousin, the daughter of her father's brother. When Danuta and her husband came to the United States to visit, my wife and I, and my wife's brother and his wife, all met for breakfast at the Hilton. It was very emotional for the blood relations; and I was verklempt, too.
College reunion. I joined the reunion committee back in the spring, thinking it would be a good networking opportunity. My assignment: call 10 classmates, encourage them to attend the reunion, and maybe contribute some dollars to dear old alma mater. I e-mailed, phoned and wrote the classmates, most of whom I did not remember from college days. I met them at the reunion, and had a ball. We talked most of the night, mostly about present-day matters. A highlight of reunion weekend was seeing my cousin, who was celebrating her 40th reunion. I had no idea she was in town. She saw me at Scott Hall. We laughed, we hugged. No, we didn't cry. We laughed again.
Visiting my niece in Arizona. A business trip took me to Phoenix in October. The morning I left I had breakfast with my niece, a student at Arizona State University. She picked me up at the hotel, and we found a pancake house, where we sat outside for our meal. She told me about her apartment, her roommate, her classes, and her two little cousins for whom she babysits. It was great seeing her outside of family and holiday get-togethers. She'll be 21 next month. All grown up.
Home improvements. We're not done with the kitchen yet. We pulled up the floor, with the intention of re-finishing the wood beneath. The fir was too far gone; scratches, gouges and saw cuts. So the contractor put in a new maple floor. It's like a basketball court now. Really beautiful. We also added cable to the TV in the kitchen and in the bedroom. (We had been using those digital converter boxes. They never worked right. I could re-scan the boxes 5 times and receive different channels 5 times. Although, without fail, we always pulled in the Spanish-language channels. I love Sabado Gigante as much as the next hombre, but enough is enough.)

College sports. Our football team ended the regular season at 8-4, winning its final three games. We took a road trip to Champaign to watch Northwestern duke it out with Illinois for the Land of Lincoln Trophy. Our friends from Wisconsin drove, and we tailgated. Imagine my delight when they broke out the Kringel, a delicacy from the bakeries of Racine. I had thought that Kringel was a seasonal pastry, available only at Christmas. Nope. They make it year round. Anyway, back to the game. The teams used to play for the Sweet Sioux Tomahawk, but the NCAA nixed any Native American references. Since our president is from Illinois, I thought the new trophy should be called the Obama-hawk. Does anyone listen to me? You can see the stove-pipe hat, the trophy, in the right-hand corner of the photo.
Meanwhile, the men's and women's basketball teams have winning records. That's big news for both programs, since they traditionally have lagged in the Big Ten conference.

Late addition to the top moments of October to December (written Jan. 3, 2010)

Palm Springs vacation. We left for California on Christmas morning. The temperature when we arrived was in the mid-60s. I had woken up with a sore throat, which I battled all week with ibuprofen, OJ, rest and Cepacol lozenges. Nevertheless, we enjoyed ourselves, basically by just relaxing. We hit the usual spots: El Paseo, Living Desert, Shields Date Ranch and Joshua Tree National Park. We saw three movies: Up In The Air, It's Complicated and Invictus. By the time vacation was over, I was feeling better and we were back home in 10-degree weather.

Those are top moments of the 4th quarter. I'll pick the top 10 and post them next week.
Here are links to the previous "Top Moments" posts.
January to March.
April to June.
July to September.
Top Moments Of 2008.